the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
