I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
