Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
