Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
