farters have to be the big spoon...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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