god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
