We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
