The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
