the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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