his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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