she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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