She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
