Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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