Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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