i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
