You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
