kristin has been a bad kristin
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
