He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
