she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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