She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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