sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
