If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
