Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
