my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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