So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
