I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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