Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
