I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
