She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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