i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
