I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
