God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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