My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
