i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
