Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That's intense
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
