I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
