I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
