OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just pee around me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
