my mouth tastes like poor choices
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
