I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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