So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
