I think i sorta joined a cult last night
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
