a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
