I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
