please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
