We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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