im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i dont even know how to be here
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
