Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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