Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
