I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
